Resolutions are not just for health or achieving career goals. You can also make resolutions for your relationships and your home. Today, let’s focus on five resolutions that will strengthen your marriage.
When I first got married almost 23 years ago, I had no idea what kind of effort would go into growing a marriage. However, I knew marriage would be work because that is what everyone told me it would be. Resolutions for my marriage just recently crossed my mind.
The idea of a resolution for your marriage might be overwhelming. You might see changes that need to be made in your relationship with your spouse, but you feel like you are not the one who needs to change anything. However, Jesus is clear: we must remove the plank from our eye before we can remove the speck from someone else’s eye. You will benefit from emotional and spiritual growth; every seed you plant will be worth the harvest you reap in your relationship.
Not all marriages need to be worked on, and they are doing very well. If this is you, then that is wonderful! However, resolutions to strengthen your marriage will help you be prepared for when the seasons change and you find yourself lost and in a rough place. Your relationship might be good now, but marriages undergo some drastic changes throughout a lifetime, and there is always a need to strengthen the good that is already there between you and your spouse.
Everyone needs a support system. This is no different for you or your spouse. The greatest gift of marriage is that you get to be there for each other. However, it is difficult to have the capacity to carry each other’s burdens when you are not in a good place relationally, emotionally, or spiritually. Developing five resolutions to strengthen your marriage will help you to have a vision for your future.
It might sound selfish to make the first resolution about YOU. But the goal here is to make sure you are able to be there for your spouse and your family. It is so important to stop pushing aside your responsibilities, pain, and emotions. Addressing these issues in your life will allow you to see where you need to take ownership of your relationship with your spouse.
A routine may sound like something other than quality time, and it is important to emphasize quality, not quantity. My husband works a lot of hours throughout the week, and he is often gone for long periods. This used to be an issue for me because I always wanted more time, not quality time. However, establishing the routine of going out on a date and other events together helps make up for the time he is gone at work.
This really takes some intentionality because you might have fallen into the habit so many married couples do, taking each other for granted. Daily appreciation might be difficult to commit to, and it could be repetitive sometimes. Saying out loud the gratitude you have in your heart towards your spouse is so important.
As a woman, I have learned it is not only difficult for me to show my appreciation towards my husband, but it is also difficult for me to receive compliments and appreciation from my husband. This mental roadblock in my mind and heart would be addressed with the first resolution: to be the best version of myself. Working through this mindset requires me to focus on myself; however, it also creates a better environment for my marriage.
Another very self-focused resolution. It might be easy to think your spouse lacks boundaries when it comes to time, working, and spending time with friends and family outside of your relationship. However, boundaries come in all shapes and sizes, and we all have moments when we are not honoring our time with our spouse.
A breakdown of boundaries in a marriage can quickly lead to divorce. If your spouse always feels like they are second to your electronic device or your job, then there will be a lack of connection and intimacy. You also need to ensure you are honoring the boundaries to take care of your health and values.
I am sure your spouse is a very hard worker. Or maybe they are struggling to achieve a goal in life, or perhaps they are taking significant risks and facing their fears. Celebrating achievements is not about getting a promotion or a Master’s Degree. You can celebrate the seemingly small achievements in life.
Maybe your spouse has been struggling with depression; you can celebrate the days they can get out of bed and be with the family. If your spouse comes home feeling like they made a breakthrough in a work relationship or a project they have been working on, then have a special dessert and celebrate. It doesn’t have to be a big celebration.
Any recognition will help your relationship grow because it will change your perspective of your spouse. Your focus will be on the good, not the bad. This will boost your morale and motivation to continue to strengthen your relationship in the new year.
Having someone to spend the rest of your life with is a special blessing from God. Developing resolutions to strengthen your marriage will honor not only your spouse but also God.
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