Finding Advent Hope in Your Marriage

Whether you’re waiting for change, healing, or intimacy, Advent offers a unique opportunity to teach us about waiting and God’s perfect timing in marriage.

When our oldest child was about 18 months old, my husband and I decided we wanted another baby. We learned two things. One, getting pregnant a second time did not look the same as the first, and two, everything happens in God’s perfect timing. Christmas time often reminds me of that period in our lives that we spent waiting.

Sometimes, God tells us no, while other times He says not yet. When our oldest was six years old, I was out shopping for Christmas. In the car, I ran through my list of errands in my mind when it suddenly occurred to me that I had missed my period.

Could I be? No, surely not.

So off to Walgreens and the ladies’ restroom at Walgreens I went. Then, a phone call to hubby at work. Best Christmas Present Ever.

Advent is a time of expectant waiting and preparation. Specifically, we prepare for the celebration of Jesus Christ’s birth. However, lessons from God can and often do extend beyond the manger scene.

If we open our hearts and minds to these extensions, God offers a spiritual framework that helps us navigate some of life’s most challenging seasons of anticipation.

Marriage is a microcosm for our spirituality, as evidenced by how Christ speaks about His relationship with the Church. Within marriage, we mirror waiting for the fulfillment of promises, the mending of brokenness, or, as in the example above, the arrival of a blessing.

Hope, Anticipation, and Advent

The first candle of Advent is lit as a symbol of hope. It’s rooted in God’s faithfulness.Isaiah 40:31 (NIV) says, “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

I’ve recently written about the tough time my husband and I have been going through over the last four months. For the first time in our marriage, we have both been out of work at the same time.

Our job loss was not planned. Regarding Advent, hope is a crucial factor. Whether a couple is battling relational distance, a chronic illness, or, as in our recent case, financial strain, the path forward can feel long and exhausting.

Advent calls us to lift our eyes from the present struggle and focus on God’s faithfulness. He keeps his promises. This season is an ideal time to reflect on God’s faithfulness and provision for all our needs.

Waiting For Change

Waiting in marriage, regardless of the specifics, is an active process. Just as John the Baptist prepared the way for Jesus, we are called to prepare our hearts and our homes while we wait. One thing we see as a repetitive theme in the scriptures is God changing hearts. Sometimes, quite dramatically, as seen in Pharaoh in Exodus or in Malachi, between parents and children.

Of course, often the changes in hearts we see are more subtle or take a long time to develop. The call is the same, however. Waiting can be painful, and often, we must look internally at our own hearts at the same time. As Advent prepares our hearts for Jesus, going through the active phases in preparation for our own spirit can have a similar impact within our marriage.

While we wait for these changes, we have the opportunity to choose love, grace, and forgiveness as Jesus calls us to do. The Apostle Paul reminds us to be patient and cultivate the virtues that lead to endurance.

Romans 5:3-4 (NIV) says, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Waiting allows us to chisel away elements that can erode a marriage, such as self-centeredness and impatience, for example. The hope that we can receive when we replace those less attractive aspects of ourselves makes room for growth.

Hope can become a strong anchor within a marriage. Putting in the time and work to achieve that helps us “not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9, NIV).

God’s Timing is Perfect

“But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship” (Galatians 4:4-5, NIV).

Whether one is waiting for financial security or a baby, as was the case a decade ago, God provides. And He provides in His perfect timing. I should mention that patience is not a virtue that I hold. These periods of waiting have been God teaching me that skill.

In terms of Advent, the same distinction still holds true. Human impatience or political convenience hold no bearing on Christ’s arrival, not as the Messiah born to Mary or His return.

As challenging as it may be, we learn valuable lessons during these periods of waiting. In marriage, we want what we want right now. Advent is a reminder that time is of the essence. Truth can speak volumes during periods of prolonged waiting. God’s perspective transcends our own.

Setting time in marriage requires both hearts to be ready to sustain the blessing in question. God’s timing ensures the maximum impact for His glory and the deepest, most lasting good for the couple.

King David sums it up pretty well in Psalm 31:15 (NIV), “My times are in your hands; deliver me from the hands of my enemies, from those who pursue me.” This level of surrender is essential in marriage.

It means we must release our timeline and truly trust God. This waiting develops our character so we can handle God’s blessings when he gives them to us.

God With Us

Advent is a time to prepare and celebrate the coming of Immanuel. We are called to develop an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. Marriage is meant to mirror this concept on a smaller scale.

Whether you’re waiting for change, healing, or intimacy, Advent teaches us about hopeful waiting and God’s perfect timing in marriage.

John 15:4 (NIV) says, ” Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”

Abiding isn’t just waiting; it’s a posture of intentional connection. In the context of marriage, this means we should pursue God, ideally together, so that we can be filled with the love of the Holy Spirit. This is significant as it is the third theme associated with Advent.

This allows us to pour out a love that perseveres while reflecting hope within our marriage.