When Hope Feels One-Sided in Marriage

Marriage is meant to be a joint union, but as fallen humans, we don’t always carry our share of the responsibilities in marriage. Seasons come and go, and one spouse may struggle in their faith, relying heavily on the spiritual strength of the other. This weight of spiritual responsibility can be challenging to carry along with the other responsibilities of life and marriage. Perseverance is necessary, and prayer can see you through. Even when your partner’s faith falters, you can continue with a soft heart of faith.

Reminders

The disciples consistently reminded the saints that their faith, perseverance, endurance, and abilities came from the Lord. They experienced times of weariness, challenge, opposition, and even danger, yet they were able to persevere and do so joyfully. Repeatedly, they tell us that the Holy Spirit enabled this.

They even prayed this truth over their congregations as a blessing in Romans 15:13, “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Knowing that we have God as a partner in our spiritual journey can lighten the load of not having our marriage partner to help. We are still not alone. We are still working with another, and it is a supernatural helper!

Perseverance

Isaiah 40:31 describes perseverance through a scene of glory and freedom when it declares that, “they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

If you can hold on and not give up as you strive to bolster your partner’s faith, you will become stronger; you will find it easier, like an Eagle riding a thermal in the sky. You will be able to keep going. This promise should encourage us to continue, knowing that the struggle will become easier, not harder.

Scripture is full of God’s promises of strength and encouragement. Read these constantly in order to keep your heart from hardening as you bear the spiritual load. Consider the grace God offers to you, and then let it flow out of you towards your spouse as well.

Perseverance means continuing to do something despite difficulty, not simply doing something easy. Recognize the difficulty and continue. Perseverance also suggests that it will take time and that the struggle will continue. Accept now that there is no end date to this burden, and remember that God does not grow weary; therefore, neither should we. Yet, He will step in when our hearts fail. Perseverance, then, will require resolve. Determined to fight. Determine to give it your all. If necessary, create a plan, establish routines and habits that support you, and then take that step of faith to begin the journey.

Prayer

At one time, you may have discussed spiritual matters freely with your spouse, but now it doesn’t feel the same. They are not reciprocating, maybe not wanting to discuss spiritual matters at all. Take those unfinished conversations to the Lord. His omnipresence makes Him available at all times. He never tires of hearing us call on Him. He is never off-duty.

Pray for spiritual insight, pray for strength, and pray for your partner. The heavy weight of spiritual responsibility can be laid at the foot of the cross when you come to the Lord in prayer. Romans 12:12 offers a glimpse of the result of a life that is full of tribulation, but covered in prayer: “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” There will be rejoicing! What a promise!

Ever since the fall of man, married couples have struggled with not being on the same page spiritually. In the garden, a lack of leadership and susceptibility to deception were spiritual weaknesses, which led to sin. When you feel weak or confused in your spiritual walk and don’t have a spouse around to inquire, pray. Ask God for wisdom and for strength. Then keep going. Keep following Him.